My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is wine microwaveable?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize