I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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