Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
