umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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