Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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