I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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