Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize