just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
