ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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