Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
