Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
vagina is talking i cant
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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