is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
