how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
