is wine microwaveable?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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