I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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