That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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