just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
