I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I only lived at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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