No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
