Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
