I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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