Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
