Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
