he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
