i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize