My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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