I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
