peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
