Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
