dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
