I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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