how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
