she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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