I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
