I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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