Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Randomize
