He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
