I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
