1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize