I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
