oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
