Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
