just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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