There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I need water and some morals
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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