my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dicks are not precious.
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