So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
