On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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