He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
