drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
