I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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