She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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