We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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