he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
