How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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