some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you would pick up someone in the library
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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