so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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