so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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