Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
